Don’t Blame the Children: Look At Their Role Models
Guest Commentary by Ivan Butcher II
I remember as a child being told, “Do as I say , not as I do”.
So to me this meant that I was to wait until I was old or big enough to do what the adults were doing, which back then there seem to be an understanding that certain things hard working, law abiding, GOD fearing adults would not say or do in the presents of children. The next thing this statement meant to me was not to get caught doing what they did, so when I was with my peers we did whatever we thought we were big enough to do.
Today, these children are exposed to and subjected to life situations that was hidden from my generation. Look at their role models: parents, relatives, neighbors, teachers, doctors, lawyers, police, politicians, preachers, now reflect on what is in the newspapers and what is all over the television about adults misdeeds and short comings. Think of all the faces right here in our own community that our children can attach to the worst of human nature and decency. In the past if someone in the village brought shame on all, they were banished. What example can be drawn by our children, when the shameful rise in status?
Censorship in the past: there was very little violence shown, vulgarity was unheard of, a kiss lasted but for a few seconds and married couples slept in separate beds. Only GOD knows what these children are witnessing behind closed doors from an early age.
This sudden epiphany to the crucial importance pre-school creative and stimulating educational exposures is to early children development; better late than never, this has been ignored for too long. Studies have proven that embryos are effected by their mother’s environment: music, sound, diet, stress level, etc., and then they may be born into a household without structure. What can you expect from them by the time they are of school age?
Something else very disturbing is the statement made by so many good intentional adults, who have become the root to a lot of the problems we have with the children, “I am working hard and struggling so that you don’t have to go through what I had to endure as a child”. Which was the work ethic value of, “By the sweat of your brow you shall earn your keep”; instead they raise their children to expect something for nothing.
Look at men in our community not only do too many of them neglect their parental responsibilities, and those that do work hang out in the bars with those who have sat around all day doing nothing. There are too many hard working women in our community guilty of enabling the men in their lives.
I can remember as a young man starting out in the workforce eager to learn and to get the work done only to be told by veterans, “Hey slow down, don’t work too hard for the Man.”
I recent went to the play, 8 to 5 – Government Workers Style 2, and just imagine that those characters represent real people, women who go home to their families and are mentors for their children.
There is a spirituality that is missing in the lives of a majority of our children today. How can you save someone if they don’t realize that they have a Soul? Too much emphasis is put on making money and not on the true purpose of Life, which is to love all as one and to be a contributing part of Humanity.
I was told by a woman who was raised in the church and she remembered telling an adult, “Why should I have to listen to you, because you’re not going to Heaven”.
I pray every time I have to speak to children or I am in their presences, that I am sharing the best of me, because I believe if I don’t GOD will not forgive me.
Ivan, you are so right.
I was listening to Money Talk tonight, and they were talking about the same thing as your editorial.
Here’s the food for thought: The kids have role models right now of elders who are “allowed” to get away with things. Look at ANY late night gas station/convienence store. There are drunks pissing on the wall with a beer in one hand, their penis in the other, and a joint hanging out of their mouth, while they cat-call to a woman who they think might find them irresitible. What the FFFF? And nobody does one thing about it, they call it “culture”. Sorry, that ain’t culture, it’s just disgusting.
No wonder our kids grow up thinking they can do whatever they want. They have no law guidance. Culture is one thing, but disobeying the law is a whole different ballgame. And, as long as there is the gray area between the two that allows our law enforcers to look the other way, we are gonna have kids growing up to do what their peers do.
Just plain nasty, and it’s all our fault because we do not insist on following the law and good morals.
@ Krista
I agree with you that its our fault for not impressing good moral standards on our children. However I differ in the part that we are our children’s role model and they learn their behavior from us. They have long since adandoned us as a role model. Their role model is T.I., Akon, Snoop Dog, J-Zee, Tu-Pac and Kobe. That is where their adoration lies we have allowed them to worship money over all else and follow the path of American Gangster instead Cyril E. King, Edward Wilmot Blyden, Mary Thomas etc. We are guilty of not instilling pride in our children. Having true pride beckons you to act the part. They should have been our first priority and they aren’t they feel betrayed and abandoned. They have been adopted by the gang and are loyal. They look for love and family.
I do agree with you wholeheartedly that nasty is not “our” culture.
Mapp is no role model for young boys
@ Luz Supporter:
Maybe not. But then again, how many of our current political leaders and candidates can you think of are good role models for young boys?
The father’s should be role model for their children, let’s talk about father’s as role model.
The hypen is not needed when speaking of ‘fathers’ in the plural sense.
make that ‘hyphen’.
I hear so many current political leaders and candidates talking about the youth and the youth and our children; and yet most of them if not all have children and you never see them at all with thier children at coltural events, or the different PEACEFUL rallies we have been part of, or just hanging out…
CULTURAL……… sorry
Correction:
My 9.25 a.m.post on the 12th was inaccurate.I should have said ‘the apostrophe is not needed’…and not ‘the hyphen’…I’m surprised no one pulled me up on that.
Sea Glass: you’re comment at 8:05 was very astute. I never even thought about that. You never even see the adult kids gathering around for a group photo-op.
Have you ever thought their kids are in college or don’t live on island.
What about those candidates that don’t have any kids? Why don’t they have kids or a wife or girlfriend? Ask yourself that question BBT70′s.
I’m thinking about elections in the States. You see their kids, cousins, eigth cousins twice removed; all hovering around for a photo op. Kids of any age are noteably absent. I think it was (and still is) a good observation.
Some of them have wives and girlfriends. But that’s another story.
CIF deleted Sea Glass’ last comment. Now my last post makes no sense. Oh well.
Sea Glass at 8:05 and Sea Glass at 8:15 are the most recent messages from this poster and were never moderated. BBT70′s we wiill continue to moderate as we deem appropriate. CIF Admin
Take that BBT70′s! Stop trying to bully CIF ADMIN, they have been doing a great job even before you began blogging. Appreciate this site and forum and stop being a jacka$$!
I really don’t think that the grown men (and women, if applicable) running this site can be bullied. I am enjoying the forum, thank you, and hope you are doing the same.
It seems more and more like people have just put children on the back burner until something bad happens. It shouldn’t be like that.
In order to address the situation with our children, the first thing we all need to do is admit that we have not raise up our children properly. Instead of giving them what they need, we just give them materials things and the money to buy them. As a result, some of them grow up only thinking about themselves.
Secondly, we all need to come together to keep these children in check. According to scriptures, it takes a village to raise a child. We all need to come together as a community. The church community plays a very important role in helping these children stay on the right path.
Addressing the growth of violent youth crime in our community, I have heard from several, too many, “Why worry they will only kill off each other.”
My response has/had been, it is only a matter of time before someone innocent will get caught in the cross-fire and what happens when they decide to turn on the community.
The way to deal with this cancerous problem is we as a community provide our children with viable engaging alternatives making sure there are no youth aspiring to fill their shoes.
What happened to the Christian proverb, ” Idle hands (MINDS /SOULS) is the Devil’s Workshop”.