Don’t Blame the Children: Look At Their Role Models
Guest Commentary by Ivan Butcher II
I remember as a child being told, “Do as I say , not as I do”.
So to me this meant that I was to wait until I was old or big enough to do what the adults were doing, which back then there seem to be an understanding that certain things hard working, law abiding, GOD fearing adults would not say or do in the presents of children. The next thing this statement meant to me was not to get caught doing what they did, so when I was with my peers we did whatever we thought we were big enough to do.
Today, these children are exposed to and subjected to life situations that was hidden from my generation. Look at their role models: parents, relatives, neighbors, teachers, doctors, lawyers, police, politicians, preachers, now reflect on what is in the newspapers and what is all over the television about adults misdeeds and short comings. Think of all the faces right here in our own community that our children can attach to the worst of human nature and decency. In the past if someone in the village brought shame on all, they were banished. What example can be drawn by our children, when the shameful rise in status?
Censorship in the past: there was very little violence shown, vulgarity was unheard of, a kiss lasted but for a few seconds and married couples slept in separate beds. Only GOD knows what these children are witnessing behind closed doors from an early age.
This sudden epiphany to the crucial importance pre-school creative and stimulating educational exposures is to early children development; better late than never, this has been ignored for too long. Studies have proven that embryos are effected by their mother’s environment: music, sound, diet, stress level, etc., and then they may be born into a household without structure. What can you expect from them by the time they are of school age?
Something else very disturbing is the statement made by so many good intentional adults, who have become the root to a lot of the problems we have with the children, “I am working hard and struggling so that you don’t have to go through what I had to endure as a child”. Which was the work ethic value of, “By the sweat of your brow you shall earn your keep”; instead they raise their children to expect something for nothing.
Look at men in our community not only do too many of them neglect their parental responsibilities, and those that do work hang out in the bars with those who have sat around all day doing nothing. There are too many hard working women in our community guilty of enabling the men in their lives.
I can remember as a young man starting out in the workforce eager to learn and to get the work done only to be told by veterans, “Hey slow down, don’t work too hard for the Man.”
I recent went to the play, 8 to 5 – Government Workers Style 2, and just imagine that those characters represent real people, women who go home to their families and are mentors for their children.
There is a spirituality that is missing in the lives of a majority of our children today. How can you save someone if they don’t realize that they have a Soul? Too much emphasis is put on making money and not on the true purpose of Life, which is to love all as one and to be a contributing part of Humanity.
I was told by a woman who was raised in the church and she remembered telling an adult, “Why should I have to listen to you, because you’re not going to Heaven”.
I pray every time I have to speak to children or I am in their presences, that I am sharing the best of me, because I believe if I don’t GOD will not forgive me.
Our children are overwhelmed!!! We should never blame them. Please keep yo drivel to yourself and stop pointing fingers. The T.V is a real weapon fooling us into believing in things like our genetics are inferior , we are the minority in the world, children can be parents and the list goes and on and on and on.
@ Torch you sound like you have some Issues.
That was one of the first things I mentioned,
“Censorship in the past: there was very little violence shown, vulgarity was unheard of, a kiss lasted but for a few seconds and married couples slept in separate beds. Only GOD knows what these children are witnessing behind closed doors from an early age.”
Torch introduced an aspect of how the media stereo-typing is and has effected our children, but to dismiss all of what I wrote as “Drivel”, this is a perfect example of the lack of respect for other’s opinion which is also being expressed in our community and in the presence of children, as well.
Wow !!! I never mentioned your name or any one on this site. You missed my point and the direction I was going. We all have issues and I meant no disrepect to you IVAN. The key word is WE please try and understand. We are operating outside our original cultural container and I blame those who took us out of our MOTHER LAND AFRICA. Our ancient Ancestors societies was based on HONOR AND OBLIGATION this society that we were dragged into is based on sex, volience and drugs
Wow !!! I never mentioned your name or any one on this site. You missed my point and the direction I was going. We all have issues and I meant no disrepect to you IVAN. The key word is WE please try and understand. We are operating outside our original cultural container and I blame those who took us out of our MOTHER LAND AFRICA. Our ancient Ancestors societies was based on HONOR AND OBLIGATION this society that we were dragged into is based on sex, volience and drugs.We can’t forget money too.
I think this is a great forum and this topic is hot. We should continue discussing these issues anywhere we go.
This idea of blaming role models is really outdated. The most important institution in any child’s life is the family. When this unit breaks down it causes major problems in society. In most instances if parents and their children are held accountable for their actions I guarantee positive results will emerge.
Excuses do not address the problems, but simply prevent problems from truly being solved.
Children want parents to discipline them. It is true that they will thank you for it later. You can be fair or sympathetic but firm amd have high expectations for children.
When a child becomes incarcerated the thought that usually runs through their minds is, “why didn’t someone show me the right way.” Too many parents try to do the easy thing and not the right thing when it comes to correcting their children.
There are always exceptions to everything. However, like the saying goes, spare the rod and spoil the child.
Familyaffair I agree with you. FAMILY AFFAIR that should be the name of one of the subjects we teach at home or school.
WITH SIN SO INFLATED ON THE tv, IN SOCIAL, EDUCATIONAL & PSYCOLOGIGAL SETTINGS, OUR CHILDREN GET STIFFLED AND HAS LITTLE LUNGS TO BREATH SURVIVING BREATHES. WE NEED TO STOMP OUT THIS OVER-MARKETING & SATURATION OF CHILDREN AND OUR SURROUNDING. WHY SAY YOU WANT TO BUILD A FAMILY WHEN OUR GOVERNMENT, SOME CHURCHES, SCHOOLS ECT. EXIST TO STARVE OUR CHILDREN FROM SOUL-HEALTHY SPIRITUAL FOODS, BIBLICAL NOURISHMENT AND RECYCLED INSPIRATION?
Anonymous@10:04pm
What role exactly is it that parents are suppose to play in the lives of their children. How about protector?
The parents and the community are the ones responsible for the outcome of the children. We as parents were supposed to mold our children properly. Culturally historically everyone looked out for the other and their children. We have all become self centered and allowed the children to be turned into someone else. We must teach that we are capable to our children and so are they. Then, we must sacrifice our party time and other self indulgences to work with our children do family activities put them to work towards learning skills and discipline. Corporate America should not raise our children through TV, movies, video games, music videos, music commercials etc. Many people talk but dedicated prolonged committment to this is totally absent. We must first re-establish who we are then act accordingly.